Has God given me my hearts desire?

Posted: November 11, 2011 in Uncategorized

“And so I handed her over to her Assyrian lovers, whom she desired so much.” Ezekiel 23:9

Ezekiel has kicked me in the butt throughout this past week and a half!  In this particular Scripture, Ezekiel is pronouncing judgement on Samaria and Israel.  Samaria and Israel have ALLOWED themselves to be prostituted to the culture of Assyria and Babylonians.  God has given them over to the desires of their world.

It’s depressing, but in the nuggets of truth, God has spoken to me in volumes about my walk(or lack of).  Let me explain from the words of my journal this morning…..

Has God given us our hearts desire?   Are we living out Romans 1:21-24?  It says “God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desire.  As a result, they __________________.”  Read 1:21-32.


Has God thrown up his hands to me as a believer in disgust?  Have I traded worshipping the glorious, ever-living God to worshipping my own man-made idols?  Have I myself become my idol?  Have my kids become my idol?  Do I worship me/them thinking that I am really worshipping Him?  If I don’t use my activity and events for myself and my kids as a platform to make Jesus famous, it is just an activity.  Sure they may excel, but for what point–to bring glory to HIS name or MY name?


If I am going to be honest, much of what I do is to make me famous–sure deep down I want to make Jesus famous, but my flesh wars with my relationship with Jesus.


The rest of Romans 1 talks about the subjects of homosexuality and goes on to say, “their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip.  They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud and boastful.  They invent new ways of sinning and they disobey their parents.  They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless and have no mercy.  They know God’s justice requires that them who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway.  Worse yet, they encourage others to do them too.


We look at homosexuality and we are quick to condemn, but what about these other Scriptures?  I have not committed homosexuality, but I have sure done everything else on the list, even murder!  In my heart I have hated and the Bible calls that murder even though I may not have physically done the act.

WICKEDNESS
SIN
GREED
HATE
ENVY
MURDER
QUARRELING
DECEPTION
MALICIOUS BEHAVIOR
GOSSIP
BACKSTABBERS
HATERS OF GOD
INSOLENT
PROUD and BOASTFUL
INVENT NEW WAYS OF SINNING
DISOBEY THEIR PARENTS
REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND
BREAK THEIR PROMISES
HEARTLESS
HAVE NO MERCY
SIN ANYWAYS REGARDLESS OF GODS GRACE
ENCOURAGE OTHERS AND INVITE THEM TO SIN

So, has God given me my hearts desire which is to be king of my life?  Has God given you your hearts desire by making you King of your life?  Is the disconnect that I am experiencing just a bi-product of me getting what I want?  Has God thrown up his hands in disgust and abandoned me?

I can’t help but think that as I examine my heart in light of Scripture that this may be what is happening

Now I know God’s Word says that he will never leave me nor forsake me…..It is true.  I cannot lose my salvation but God cannot be involved in my sinful activity.

Throughout this fast, there is an internal struggle and exam that God is doing in my life.  He’s going through each room of my heart and cleaning house(heart)–he’s removing the dirt, grime, and cobwebs.

This is not an issue I can blame on anyone else–it’s me–I’ve sinned.

So, as I examine my life–Has God just given me what I wanted after for so long trying to teach me, love, me and equip me?

Have I prostituted myself to other nations(things) by defiling myself with other idols?  Is it no wonder that God has disciplined me by turning away?  Am I bearing the consequences of my “lewdness and prostitution” (Ezekiel 23:30).  Have I trampled on the Son of God and treated the blood of the covenant as if it were common and unholy? (Hebrews 10:29)

This is how God has been kicking my butt.  Self-examination through the Word can be very painful, but in the end it brings freedom and I don’t have to go through the motions….I’m not saying I’m perfect, but this will be a journey.  As God reveals more, I am hoping to trust and obey.


In regards to our church, I am praying!  Praying for a breakthrough.  We are creatures made for relationship, but the disconnect isn’t so much a horizontal relationship issue, it’s more of a vertical relationship issue with God.  I can Bible study more, talk more, be at church more, but if I am not changed by the glorious, ever living God and breathe for Him, the things mentioned before won’t matter in the scheme of things and there will continue to be a disconnect. 


I am in the process of removing myself off of the throne which rightfully belongs to God….I am in the process of dying to myself.  It’s painful, but I believe in the end will be worth it!


As you examine yourself and pray for you, your family, and our church, would love to hear what God is doing and Pastor Scott will be leading us on Sunday to testify what God is saying through all of this!

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